Those of you who followed my blog regularly, even though my posts were sporadic at best, may have noticed my absence from the blogging community. Since my last post on June 18th, 2017, which was slated to be a 2-part post, I’ve been on hiatus. Though it was never my intention to stay away this long, some things just cannot be helped (Shoganai)
First of all, THANK YOU for all those who reached out to me via WordPress, Twitter, Instagram, and e-mail to check on me and keep in touch. I never imagined such positive, supportive, and authentic relationships would develop from blogging.
To summarize my absence, I was taking a break to reconnect with myself. Do you know those voices inside us– meant to alert, criticize, and motivate us? Well, after an unsuccessful switch in anxiety medicine, my inner critic began screaming to be heard, oft times drowning out the voices that serve to inspire me. Naturally, this left me feeling exhausted and unmotivated.
Weekend plans with friends became a struggle; coming together out of obligation rather than enjoyment. Faithfully watching and blogging about anime series, once a fulfilling experience, was approached as an enduring chore. As this depressive state began to leech into all aspects of my life, I knew that it was time to be “selfish” — to focus on me.
The last six months have brought changes in my life. Having always been a bubbly, positive extrovert (with social anxiety) my whole life, this sudden, solemn shift in my behavior left people in my life confused. As a result, some friendships, that I highly valued, diminished over time. With that said, those left in my life rose to support me– even when I came across as disagreeable, unsympathetic, or unkind- and for that I am grateful.
There were more positive changes too. First, I was reminded that when I need support, my husband, WeekendOtaku, is an unshakable pillar of strength whom I can depend upon for anything. Through this experience, he has maintained a patience that would rival a Buddhist monk. Knowing how emotionally difficult I have been, I cannot thank him enough for his unconditional love. A reminder to those reading this– marry your best friend (you won’t regret it.)
I’ve learned too that it is absolutely okay to be “selfish” and reconnect with yourself. Now, I am no longer afraid to ask for help, or a bit of understanding, from those who cherish me as much as I do them. From the ani-blogging community, I’ve discovered that there are people in this world, whom you may never meet, that you can still develop a lasting connection with. Those are the people who embraced me when I first became a blogger and continued to check in with me even when I wasn’t active. This means, to me, that it isn’t about the amount of posts, comments, or likes I leave for you, but about the friendship we’ve formed by bonding over shared interests.
Going forward, I plan to be more active in the ani-community. Whether it be commenting on your posts and/or creating my own content. It will take time to get back into the swing of things, so please be patient with me. To everyone who is still following me — thank you again ❤